Tag Archives: trust

Suitcase

I don’t remember how I like to sleep
The inside of a kitchen drawer
Or a suitcase-less floor

I know the elevator buttons here
React a bit too slowly
I know he’s letting go of me –
I don’t remember when it started, but I can feel it growing
I remember knowing
That this couldn’t last forever
I remember feeling better, I remember we were changing
I don’t remember breaking though I think we tried to fix it

When will he get angry that
My nerves are getting jumpy
I don’t remember feeling calmer though someone said I could be
I remember knowing they’ll choose what they want to see in me
I don’t remember losing the chance to take the stand
But there’s a suitcase in my hand
And somewhere else I need to be.

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Remember

I’ll remember you as
Those moments between asleep and awake
With the night still in my eyes
And the morning on my tongue
I’ll remember you as
Falling in love but being too young
To understand forever or
The meaning of a promise
I’ll remember your dishonest hands
Lofty plans and lack of strength
To see them through
I’ll remember you as
The reds that turned blue
And my reality check
As regrets, not yets and too little too late
You’ll remember me as
Your greatest mistake.

Distraction 

One day I started to question your love –
That you could put me above
All the distractions of a city
Pretty silly how quickly doubt makes things
So sticky
But I find your love too risky
And I just don’t have it in me
To love without my limits
And you argue,
“That’s what love is!”
But how am I to give this
All with the distraction in your kisses
And the briskness in our mornings
And the bridges you won’t cross for me
How can I give all to you
If you’ll never get lost in me?

Not All

You taught me love is not all

And when I fall to fall slowly
I remember you told me
Not to love without limits
It seems so perfect when you’re in it
But love can be so fragile
And the talk of ever-after
Is often only that
And then, looking back,
What is it you’re left with?
At best with fragments of yourself —
At worst far less.

Space

I spent my days getting smaller
As you became farther away
My mind began to wander
Over subtleties I’d missed —
Her spit in your kiss, the dirt on your lips
When did my hips
Become unworthy of your fingers?
I linger longer than I should
On words you spoke then gave to her
Well I thought love was something sacred
But how easily you seemed to fake it
Take your space and vacant promise
Enjoy the taste of her dishonest
Skin, her lips, her wandering hands
I tried but I can’t understand.