Tag Archives: somethinggood

Retired [an ode to irish dance]

Medals and trophies retired- I’m tired
Tired of toothy grins and “Oh you were just so close”
Tired of poofy wigs and broken twigs stabbed into my feet
I accept it- I’m beat and so I retire

I accept it- I’m beat and it’s time to retire
I don’t inspire and my head’s on fire
Red I see, red. I see red on the gold now
And silver is blue and bronze is too familiar

What’s too familiar? Me? Honestly?
With my one competition a week policy?
Honestly- I’ll finally admit you were better
There were twigs in my feet, my cheeks should’ve been redder
And since now I’m on the topic of truth
Bloom of youth spent popping bones in my basement
I face it, honestly, I never liked it anyway
I was good for a spark then gold benchmark turned gray

I lost it, feet frosted, embossed satin dress frayed
Black laces replaced with the basic white sneakers
And the music coming out of the speakers
Lacked the jump and the hop and then eventually stopped

The jig was up- I hated the jig
Hated the way my wig always slid
Now and then I forgot I was a kid
While moved by a leprechaun from the control grid
Dancing feet morphed into cement blocks
Got stuck with sock glue to my bedroom floor
Mind wondered about hundreds of books I never got to read
Eyes wandered as mind pondered so I took the clover off my sleeve

You can keep it, I’m retired, feet are tired
Uninspired, Can no longer box step as required
Can no longer say that I admire the lord of the dance
And his sheep-like choir

So I take off my shoes and hang up my feet
Harangue about blisters and competitive sister
Repetitive practice, dress felt like cactus
Red gold sucess and bronze put to rest.

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Time

Time heals all, they say
I don’t know who, but they say
Time heals all
So I stomached the words and believed them to be true
And the minutes, they don’t
but the years somehow do
Someday you slowly
Find that you’re fine
A little less whole, and with a little less time
But fine just the same.

It wasn’t always good
But in some ways it was always good.

Wedding Day

I feign respectability
And fall ill the morning of your ceremony
I wrote a card — “Congratulations
on the bullet you dodged”
The last words that I’ll write to you.

Yes, I believed in sacrifice —
One of those principals that sounded so right
When I couldn’t imagine
that I’d be the lamb
But now the knife is in your hand and
I think I’ve changed my mind.

If this is really how it ends
I will blame you for whatever happens next —
My heart’s quiet atrophy,
My misunderstanding of forever,
My hand’s steady tremor
Tomorrow morning as I picture you
And her, organizing your cupboard with your new
Monogrammed dishes
From someone who is happy for you
As I just feel forgotten
And drink my coffee black as a tribute to my loss.

To your credit,
I never found the words and I always will regret it
And I’m sure you both looked beautiful
Today.

To the Lonely

Tonight, if you’re alone,

Turn your eyes to the darkness and know

There is no nothingness – amidst the abyss I exist somewhere too.

If your bones are built with stone tonight

And the light from the moon refuses to grace you

Know that I too have felt heavy

With all the things I failed to be, the forgotten details, the sum of my missteps

The not yets and too lates.

If your mistakes have made you older

Than you’d thought you’d be tonight

Know that through all this chilling air, in spite of it all,

I’ve left my light on for you.

If, tonight, you feel you’re falling fast

Past faces and planets and layers of skin

Know that I’ve been there too –

My skin has been blue and my hair failed to grow

But I let myself go and stomached the fall and I think you should too –

Fall into the darkness

and know that somwhere across it

I’m waiting for you.