Tag Archives: onward

Suitcase

I don’t remember how I like to sleep
The inside of a kitchen drawer
Or a suitcase-less floor

I know the elevator buttons here
React a bit too slowly
I know he’s letting go of me –
I don’t remember when it started, but I can feel it growing
I remember knowing
That this couldn’t last forever
I remember feeling better, I remember we were changing
I don’t remember breaking though I think we tried to fix it

When will he get angry that
My nerves are getting jumpy
I don’t remember feeling calmer though someone said I could be
I remember knowing they’ll choose what they want to see in me
I don’t remember losing the chance to take the stand
But there’s a suitcase in my hand
And somewhere else I need to be.

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Quickly

Someday you might wonder
What if I had held her
For those moments in the morning
Instead of going going going
Until everything was gone
You’ll notice life is feeling long
Though those moments went so quickly –
But what is time without me?

You might fill your days with should haves
Things you didn’t do but could have
And you might start to feel bad
But what ifs cannot sustain you

Maybe you’ll wonder if I blame you
For time spent so distracted
By things that didn’t matter
You’ll question happy-ever-after
And the life you could’ve had with me
If you’d realized when we had it that
Someday we’d just look back at it and
Time passes so quickly
At least it did when you were with me.

Forward

Maybe things do work out
That they knew what they were talking about
When they said “time heals all”
And though the fall may leave scars
To live is to be marked
So wear them with pride
I think it’s time that I tried
To forgive and forget
To wish you the best
And to live my life better
To stop wondering whether
The pain was worth the pleasure
You weren’t my forever
And I’ll leave it at that
There’s no going back
And with that I will move forward
And with that I will move toward
The light – a flower toward the sun
I’ve decided to believe 
The best is yet to come.

Fumbled

I loved you before you knew how to love,
In an unpretentious way –
How much, I can’t say, words never held the weight
But the world was mine and I gave it to you.
I waited for you
Stepped back and gave you time
I was yours to call “mine”
But you sparked a match and let me burn alone.
I loved you before I knew how to crumble
As a bumbling fool who left a heart to be fumbled
Chipped away at and bruised
Used and confused I loved you regardless
But I’m giving you up
And somehow this part’s the hardest.

Distraction 

One day I started to question your love –
That you could put me above
All the distractions of a city
Pretty silly how quickly doubt makes things
So sticky
But I find your love too risky
And I just don’t have it in me
To love without my limits
And you argue,
“That’s what love is!”
But how am I to give this
All with the distraction in your kisses
And the briskness in our mornings
And the bridges you won’t cross for me
How can I give all to you
If you’ll never get lost in me?

Not the Sun

This is not the wolf 
Howling at the moon
Or a poet’s final verse
You didn’t love me first 
And many more will follow
I fear I won’t subsist 
On a love lukewarm and hollow
Though I knew from
When we started that
I’d never be the sun for you
I thought maybe your moon, your stars
But even that has proved too hard
A love so flimsy, skinny, small
Really isn’t love at all.