Stipulations

You said “I love you but I’m leaving.”
When did you stop believing?
I guess forever’s not as long
As you imagine when you’re young
Since when did love unconditional
Come with stipulations?
All that I believed of love
Was just a fabrication.

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Unstable

Where do we stand
Kitchen counter crumbs stick to
Hands glued to surface
I can’t let go too quickly
I am feeling quite unstable
You are sitting at the table
We once bought together 
With the leg that still needs fixing
It is feeling quite unstable
I can barely stand this silence
When did our love grow so quiet
So unstable, so unsure
I wish you’d feel a little more
Frightened by love’s flightiness
Tell me, will you fight for this?

Remember

I’ll remember you as
Those moments between asleep and awake
With the night still in my eyes
And the morning on my tongue
I’ll remember you as
Falling in love but being too young
To understand forever or
The meaning of a promise
I’ll remember your dishonest hands
Lofty plans and lack of strength
To see them through
I’ll remember you as
The reds that turned blue
And my reality check
As regrets, not yets and too little too late
You’ll remember me as
Your greatest mistake.

Fumbled

I loved you before you knew how to love,
In an unpretentious way –
How much, I can’t say, words never held the weight
But the world was mine and I gave it to you.
I waited for you
Stepped back and gave you time
I was yours to call “mine”
But you sparked a match and let me burn alone.
I loved you before I knew how to crumble
As a bumbling fool who left a heart to be fumbled
Chipped away at and bruised
Used and confused I loved you regardless
But I’m giving you up
And somehow this part’s the hardest.

Light

I found a light in your smile 
I know it’s been a while since we talked
But I have not forgotten
Silver linings that you made for me
And all the cells you saved for me
At a time I was determined 
To occupy less space and breathe 
So lightly no one heard me
You made me feel deserving of
Happiness, acceptance, love
The way you fell in love with life 
Thanks for your eternal light.

Distraction 

One day I started to question your love –
That you could put me above
All the distractions of a city
Pretty silly how quickly doubt makes things
So sticky
But I find your love too risky
And I just don’t have it in me
To love without my limits
And you argue,
“That’s what love is!”
But how am I to give this
All with the distraction in your kisses
And the briskness in our mornings
And the bridges you won’t cross for me
How can I give all to you
If you’ll never get lost in me?

My mom told me to start a blog…