I don’t remember how I like to sleep
The inside of a kitchen drawer
Or a suitcase-less floor
I know the elevator buttons here
React a bit too slowly
I know he’s letting go of me –
I don’t remember when it started, but I can feel it growing
I remember knowing
That this couldn’t last forever
I remember feeling better, I remember we were changing
I don’t remember breaking though I think we tried to fix it
When will he get angry that
My nerves are getting jumpy
I don’t remember feeling calmer though someone said I could be
I remember knowing they’ll choose what they want to see in me
I don’t remember losing the chance to take the stand
But there’s a suitcase in my hand
And somewhere else I need to be.
We were going to build something
Unhung pictures haunt me
Your toothbrush in the bathroom taunts me
How long ‘til you’ve forgotten me?
Here’s the thing that burns –
I know there was a time
When in me you saw the world.
“It has been a beautiful fight.
– Charles Bukowski
Someday you might wonder
What if I had held her
For those moments in the morning
Instead of going going going
Until everything was gone
You’ll notice life is feeling long
Though those moments went so quickly –
But what is time without me?
You might fill your days with should haves
Things you didn’t do but could have
And you might start to feel bad
But what ifs cannot sustain you
Maybe you’ll wonder if I blame you
For time spent so distracted
By things that didn’t matter
You’ll question happy-ever-after
And the life you could’ve had with me
If you’d realized when we had it that
Someday we’d just look back at it and
Time passes so quickly
At least it did when you were with me.
I felt better today
But is better enough?
How do you know when it’s time to give up?
When is it time to stop being tough
And admit what we both know
We’d both be better if I chose to go
But is better enough?
I know things are rough
But there was a time things were better
Well, better than better – let me explain
There was a time when your name
Sent shivers down my spine
There was a time when just “fine”
Was never how we were
There was a time you had me all
Before you spent part of me on her
But when is it time to give up on what we were
And accept that just “better”
Should never be the goal
When is it time to walk away & fold?
Maybe things do work out
That they knew what they were talking about
When they said “time heals all”
And though the fall may leave scars
To live is to be marked
So wear them with pride
I think it’s time that I tried
To forgive and forget
To wish you the best
And to live my life better
To stop wondering whether
The pain was worth the pleasure
You weren’t my forever
And I’ll leave it at that
There’s no going back
And with that I will move forward
And with that I will move toward
The light – a flower toward the sun
I’ve decided to believe
The best is yet to come.